Use the two bags full of apples given by your friend's dad that have obviously never seen the business end of a chemical sprayer. Make sure you trim out the wormy bits.
Cut them in half and boil them for about 45 minutes until they're falling apart. At this point the house smells like the inside of a cider mill, which is okay if you like cider mills.
Run them through a food mill. If you don't have a food mill, you'll need to core and peel the apples before you boil them, then mash or puree them during this stage. I opted for the food mill and even went and bought mine this morning. I figure this won't be my last batch of applesauce.
Ignore the fact that your applesauce looks like it's made out of avocados and spoon the still-warm sauce into tubs for freezing. You could can it at this point but that sounds like way too much work if you ask me.
Oh dear, then there are these. Who wants to wash these for me? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Rats. Oh well.
There you go. 100% natural, free, never-saw-a-chemical-or-a-machine applesauce. Laura Ingalls, eat your heart out. Now, excuse me while I go eat a preservative-laden freezer pizza for lunch.