When I dropped Curly Miss off this morning the teacher informed me that her aide was gone that day and she was looking for a substitute. Since I had no plans and the teacher welcomed Little Mister into the class, I stayed to help.
Mister was in seventh heaven. He got to be in Preschool with Curly, just as if he was big! He got to paint with the watercolors and build with the blocks. He played with the toy dogs and have a snack. He even got to put on his coat and go outside with the class and play on the playground. (That was my least favorite part.)
I was surprised to discover that I actually knew most of the kids' names. Since the class had all girls but one, the atmosphere seemed more mellow than I had expected. I enjoyed myself more than I thought I would. Ever since I had such a bad experience teaching several years ago, I have shied away from classes of any kind, even though it was never the kids I had trouble with. But I just never have wanted to get back on the horse so I don't volunteer for Sunday School or field trips. Today was a rare exception and it went so well I breathed a sigh of relief.
This week I also paid the semester's tuition for Preschool. That was painful, especially since we're trying to save every penny for the adoption. Taking a good look at my life, I have discovered that I am WAY too stressed out about our finances. I wish I could find a way to relax and just trust God, but I can't seem to shut my brain off. And ever since I got so sick after my experience at Colton, my body simply won't handle stress. I get depressed, get headaches and feel tired and sluggish. Somehow I have got to find a happy place in order to be around my family. So far no luck, but I keep on slogging through each day, hopeful that tomorrow will be better.