Several of Curly's friends have had elaborate birthday parties involving all of the munchkins from church and preschool in one big, happy, chattering madhouse. Now that her birthday is fast approaching on Wednesday I have contemplated doing the same thing with absolute dread.
Many reasons exist for this resistance to entering the happy world of Preschool entertainment. For one thing, I planned a huge party last year for both kids and only two friends came. I am supremely grateful for those two families but I'm a little unwilling to go to all the work if no one is going to show up anyway.
The second reason is just that I'm too tired. This has been an unusually busy autumn, between extra trips to Oregon, adoption paperwork and contacts, Preschool, playgroup and increased serving at church, I feel like I have just about reached my limit. I absolutely love to be busy so I'm not complaining but it leaves very little time for an activity for which I have never felt suited anyway. I hate planning parties, trying to find the "right" decorations and various props and making and sending invitations. (I have similar problems getting thank-you cards written--sorry Mother-in-law.) I think it brings back repressed memories of doing bulk mailings of letters to parents when I was a band teacher. Anyway, for all those reasons, it looks like this year my daughter will not get a big friends-party.
It hit me this afternoon that it actually is not going to happen due entirely to my own procrastination and I felt horribly guilty, as if I am a bad mother. I realize that Curly is getting old enough to form memories that she'll keep her whole life and I wanted to give her a fun birthday memory. Luckily for me, my family is coming to my rescue. Hubby offered to bake her birthday cake with her help and input on Tuesday night. Mom invited us to her house to open presents. So my daughter will have good birthday memories any way!