Monday, November 3, 2008
Answers & Questions
When I had some spare time today (squeezed in around play group, preschool, grocery shopping, banking, paying bills, and cooking meals) I read a bunch of the training material for trans racial adoptions. The amount of material and diverse subjects amazed me. Everything from resources on African-American hair and skin care to addressing some of the questions I have had like what to do about racism and racial issues, what trans racial children feel about being part of a white family, and incorporating a different culture into our own family.
It's beginning to come together as a picture in my mind of our family and what it will look like in years to come. I have to say I'm excited about it. One issue I hadn't even considered was one that was addressed over and over: the fact that many white families request a bi-racial child in order that some "white blood" is included in the child's genetic make-up. This practice is highly discouraged as it implies that the Black "part" of the child is inferior. Not to pat myself on the back but I was shocked! The idea had never even crossed my mind. I knew that Africans consider the darker skin to be more beautiful and for our child's sake I hoped she would be as dark as possible. If we did get a bi-racial child, I figured she would be beautiful as well, since she would be my daughter.
I definitely feel like I am armed with more information and can answer a few more questions from people, but as far as actually covering all of the issues I suppose a lifetime will not expose us to everything involved in such a venture. Still, rather than feel discouraged I am energized. Many families make this work well and have happy, well-adjusted children.
One such family I found through a google search has a blog here. Their pictures and stories inspire me. Looking at their family picture with two bio kids and a little Black angel-baby made me cry. With joy.
Now my questions run more along these lines: When can we get our baby? WHEN can we get our baby? How soon can we get our baby? Can I be patient for the months between now and getting our baby?