Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Finished! Yay!

It's the boredom. Some stay-at-home moms can vegetables. Some read 4,326 books a week. Some take four kids to the mall twice in one day. Some watch every TV show on Cable simultaneously. This stay-at-home-mom-boredom phenomenon is observable well back into the days when our own moms painted those hideous velvet landscapes or kittens which are still hanging in every downstairs hallway in America. Well, I singlehandedly keep Michael's Crafts in business. I'm not sure what gives me the bug to do crafty projects but I love it. When they are done I am so pleased with having accomplished something in my pathetic-feeling life that I have to do a big long blog post about it, not to brag or intimidate, but to celebrate the joy of accomplishing, something my personality craves.

So here's another nauseatingly detailed post on my stained-glass window project. Enjoy. Or not.

Beginning. As you can see the window behind Curly Miss looks out on the alley, preventing me from running naked through the house in comfort and ease. My ever-helpful Dad commented once that hey, this is the land of hippies, so why not just run through the house naked anyway? I could pretend I lived in a nudist colony. Hmmm, thanks, Dad. But no. I might scar someone psychologically. Then he might sue me. Then... where was I?

June 27th I went to Michael's and bought an exorbitant amount of window paint, instructions and patterns. Naively I thought it would take me a day or two to paint the three windows in my dining room to look like stained glass. I quickly discovered how wrong I was.

Still, it was fun making all of the shapes and watching the pattern take shape. It had to be created in parts on the sheet of plastic. Then after it dried, I peeled it off the plastic and stuck it on the window.

At first it looked somewhat surrealistic, as though someone had a stray leaf and just glued it to the window to get it out of the way.

Then it stayed this way for about two months.

Finally I got tired of this unfinished window staring me in the face every time I sat down for a meal. Also I wanted to be naked. So I got back to work.

The big middle window took the longest by far because each little section had to dry for two days. At last it was done and I could get to work on the sides.

They took shape much more quickly.

One of the odd things about a project like this is little memories that get attached to it. For instance, I was painting in some of the large clear areas while watching Spaceballs. Now when I look at it instead of thinking "beautiful flower and vines" I think "Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower." Hmmm.

Another problem was timing. Sunday afternoon seemed like a perfect time to get some mileage on filling in the clear stuff while the kids napped. But the paint dries slowly and we had Small Group at our house. To my dismay two different curious babies ran their fingers through my wet, white, cloudy, not-yet-dried-clear paint in the course of the evening.

Then I ran out of paint. But all great art must have setbacks, even paint-by-number. I was undaunted. Who needs daunts anyway? That was my motto, just like Dave Barry. Little Mister and I went to Michael's during preschool and got more paint. I came home. I painted. Then, suddenly, after all summer, I was done! Yippeee!! Wooooeeeeee! Yay!

Now it's October. Too cold to get naked.


  1. I KNOW you didn't post for accolades but goodness sakes girl, I AM IMPRESSED! The fortitude alone! It looks awesome and I know that someday when you are running through your dining room naked you will be so happy and free but every other day you get to look at it in all it's glory and know that YOU DID IT!!! It's really cool and beautiful and really I am in awe...

  2. So, if we can't say your name, what should we call you? You need a name for yourself! Can I call you Svetlana?

    The windows look great! Although, I'm wondering the real motive behind wanting to be naked in the dining room...wink. (I've read one too many romance novels!)

  3. Svetlana was my... gymnast name? My WWF name? I forget. But yeah, that will work. ;)

    And sorry to ruin your romantic imaginings but it's primarily because the dining room is between the shower and my bedroom. Prosaic, isn't it?

  4. Svetlana was your American Gladiator name that I gave you.

    That would be hard to not have the bathroom connected to the bedroom...I'd be doing the same as you too!

  5. Great job!
    I still wouldn't feel comfortable going naked through the dining room, though. It might blur things like they do on reality tv ;), but I don't think it will hide the fact that you aren't wearing a thread. :P :)

  6. I run naked and I don't care!! Be liberated! Just do it! I think they LOOK AWESOME (your window's)!!! Someday when I'm rich I'll pay you to paint mine!