Hubby and I made the decision to apply to be foster/adoptive parents again. Three years ago when we lived in Pullman and Curly was a baby, we went through the entire licensing process. We filled out reams of paperwork. We attended a PRIDE training class where we learned about real foster children, the kinds of kids who need care, the families, the way the system works. After a thorough cleaning and stocking with the essentials such as plug covers, baby gates and a lock-box for our meds, we had our home inspected. We talked with other foster parents, social workers and even attended a support group event. It was February that we finally received our license and soon after got a call that a two-year-old boy needed a home.
I said no. I had just found out I was pregnant again and suddenly I got so sick I could hardly stay out of bed. I couldn't keep anything down and the fatigue and pain lasted the entire nine months. I was in no condition to take in foster kids; I could not even care for my own 18-month-old daughter. So we put the adoption process on hold. We also moved which means the homestudy would have to be repeated.
Then Little Mister was born and we moved to Idaho. Now that we're in an entirely different state, we have to start from scratch. Still the idea refuses to leave my heart. It would be so easy to stop with the two beautiful kiddos that we have, to save ourselves the trouble of the paperwork, the invasion and inspection of our home, the time and hassle of classes and First Aid and CPR and endless meetings. But my heart won't be silenced. There are babies out there who have no one to love them. Lost babies like the lamb in the Bible story. The tug in my heart will not go away.
Hubby contacted the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare last week to get the ball rolling. I don't know how long it will take for us to get the entire process completed yet again. Then waiting for the right kiddo to come to our family will be more waiting. It may be years down the road. In my mind that is okay. I'll wait as long as I need to wait. But someday, someday I will hold my Baby Bear in my arms, my special child, the one my heart longs for.